CREATIVITY IN MY MEDICINE CABINET

I’ve fallen in love with painting again! And my husband is going to giggle and say I’m so extreme – but I am, and that’s why he loves me – or one of the reasons, because I’m mega-multi-talented and faceted, which is just as well because I’m also mega-sick, and the poor man has been looking after me for three years now. Just as well he’d gone grey before, or I’d have blamed myself. Because, you know – mea culpa, mea culpa, mea culpa!

 I’m working on it…

Some of you may know that poetry has been my mental lifesaver these past two years; I fell into it utterly randomly, and it took just one little poem called Wolf, written from a prompt, for all my fear of the blank page to disintegrate and for words to start pouring out. I published my first poetry book, Illicit Croissants At Dawn, in April this year, and my second poetry book will be published in 2026. Meanwhile, I keep on writing poetry, keep meaning to work on my novel, and then a poem wants to be written RIGHT NOW, or my crochet project demands attention (I’m making a lovely fluffy off-white shawl, the wool is fabulous to work with). In between, I need to sleep, and nap when my body insists, and visit my lovely doctors. I started a new immunosuppressant treatment last Monday as the previous one didn’t work – the first few days were rough, but my body seems to be settling now. Next infusion in a week, then the third loading dose just before Christmas, ho ho ho. After that it will be every two months. I pray this new one works… I’m craving freedom, and some fun away from the house!!!

Enter a sudden renewal of interest in painting, courtesy of a moment of scrolling on Instagram a few weeks ago. I came across someone using teabags to make art. They simply dunked the teabag in water, then set it on watercolour paper and let it sit there for a while, until a stain formed. They removed the teabag, let the paper dry, and then looked for something concrete in the shape.

Of course, the person doing this was incredibly skilled, and did beautiful work, with incredible rabbits, squirrels, and intricate birds. Nevertheless, I was intrigued and thought I’d give it a try. I made four tea stains, let them dry, and then went about my business for a few days, not quite forgetting about them, but not overly obsessed either. A week or so later I drew a little bird from one stain and painted it. I was happy with how it came out – I painted it for fun – and creating things for fun has become my creativity motto to avoid freaking out, trying to be too perfect, freezing, and then feeling like a failure. I felt my little bird had its own fun personality.

I didn’t touch the other stains for a few weeks, until yesterday morning, when I was feeling a little frayed around the edges because of all the pain I’ve been through these past few weeks, and felt worried about the pain never going away, and what would I do _ omg omg omg. So I went to my office/studio, sat down to write something, but felt pulled towards my craft table instead. I cut out another stain, saw a fish shape, and got a little funky with colour, losing myself for an hour or so, dipping in and out of my little watercolour palette, using my coloured pencils, and generally having a lovely time.

So much so that I returned to my craft table today, cut out another shape, and found a queen! The Queen of the Teabags now is fully formed, feeling quite smug about her outfit of the day, and heading out for a potter around Teabag Manor to feed the Teabirds and the Teafish…

As for me, I’m going to grab a few more teabags and set them on watercolour paper. Teabag poetry illustrations? Why not!

What do you lean into to calm your nervous system when you’re feeling wound up? Do you make something, or go for a run, or go and sit in the car and let out a rebel yell? Tell me in the comments!

 Thank you for reading,

 Lots of love from a very dark and rainy day in Switzerland,

Francesca xx