TALES OF TRIUMPHANT TRUMPETING
Dinner, Dutch praise, unfortunate wine time travel, and the sudden Bridgerton aspirations of my bosom
A DIAMOND AND RUBY BELLY-BUTTON JEWEL
Cindy Crawford had one. Mine was in a different place.
CELEBRATE IN SEQUINS (unless you’re a spy, or a robber on the run!)
Show the world the wonder that you are
RESISTANCE IS FUTILE
“My mouth feels like the bottom of a neglected birdcage. Smooching anyone for the next ten years would be a felony.”