Switzerland, Sunshine, Self-love, Poetry and a Cracked Tooth

Good morning!

This is just a straightforward, chatty little newsletter. With a poem about self-love, too.

How are you? I’m back in my Swiss house and brought the Spanish sunshine with me! Everyone is delighted to have some sun here, as it’s apparently been rotten and raining for ages. I was hoping to do an in-and-out, returning to Girona tomorrow, after my first sub-cutaneous immunosuppressant injection at my gastroenterologist’s this afternoon, but I forgot about having to order my new self-injectable immunosuppressant medication from the pharmacy to take back to Spain with me, as I will have to self-inject every two weeks. The pharmacy won’t have it in stock, and the order won’t arrive in time for me to catch my original flight tomorrow. No biggie; I’m now scheduled to fly back Friday afternoon.

Also, yay me - I managed to crack a corner of my upper left front teeth last night! It’s happened before, but not quite so badly. Maybe it will teach me to stop eating hard crusts, which I love! I’m also guilty of grinding my teeth a lot. Actually, I grind my teeth almost all the time. It’s a terrible habit, and I catch myself doing it constantly, but it’s proving hard to stop. My dentist here is away until next week, so I’ll have to have it fixed in Spain. No flashing my widest grin so much these next few days. And I must get the grinding under control.

Speaking of smiling, on Sunday night I wrote my first love letter to myself in Elizabeth Gilbert’s weekly Letters From Love. I’d been skulking in the background of her posts for months, never daring to jump in myself, but on Sunday night I did. I’d been carrying a lot of sadness and frustration for some time, and I wrote my letter fast. And it felt so good! Something cathartic must also have happened during the process, because I was so tired yesterday and had to go to bed for a few hours in the afternoon. Of course, this happens to me a lot due to my illness, but this felt different.

Right after I wrote the letter, Jay - Wild Lion*esses Pride asked whether I might find some compassion towards myself, which immediately led to me writing this poem. I’ve since tweaked it ever so slightly, but its essence remains. I hope you like it, and that it speaks to you. Maybe you might catch a glimpse of yourself in it, too? Let me know.

I really recommend Elizabeth Gilbert’s Substack. I’ve loved her writing for a long time, and she’s such a lovely, genuine person.

So, here is the poem that came through me, ever so quickly, the other night. As I mentioned, it’s been lightly tweaked for readability.

Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when published

WEIGHTLESS

You try so hard 
To live in the joyzone,
Forever in the upper echelons of gratitude,
Of happitude,
Because others face greater challenges.

But you are not responsible
For their life-grudges,
Their mistakes,
Their anger
Their problems.

Let yourself dissolve into peace.
Float.
Balloon into air.
As you know,
Breathing isn’t as simple as it sounds.

You have your troubles
And they are not weightless.

So,
Be there
For them,
For all,
In love,
But in lightness.

Open your heart to yourself.
Live your gentle truth.
Heal.

Lots of love

Cesca