BREAKING NEWS: BEDLAM AT WINDSOR CASTLE: Boxers, buckets and Beyoncé - Windsor’s Wildest Night Yet

Bedlam at Windsor Castle last night after Donald Trump allegedly attempted to sneak into the Royal bedchamber while King Charles was in the bath.

Camilla was seen fleeing through the royal hallways in a vintage duck-blue and white flannel Laura Ashley nightie and curlers, with Donald in doddery pursuit - wearing nothing but his Make America Great Again red satin boxers.

Ructions ensued. Charles had a fit, summoning the royal guards who escorted Donald to the dungeons, where he was locked in a cell with a bucket and a very itchy, old Shetland wool blanket, and a copy of Dostoyevsky’s Crime and Punishment. Donald was later heard whistling “Oops!... I Did It Again.”

Camilla and Melania were spotted strolling the castle ramparts, talking animatedly. Camilla tossed something small and metallic into the moat below, whereupon Melania clapped with delight. The two were seen dancing in the moonlight to “All The Single Ladies.”

The press is calling Camilla “the one who got away.”

Caroline Levitt was initially expected to hold a press conference in the early afternoon, but has since resigned from her post and run off with Jimmy Kimmel’s second cousin’s younger brother.

Pam Bondi has declined to comment.